TITLE: The Sunnydale Scare Project


EMAIL: lex@bitchenvy.com


SYNOPSIS: Badfic. The Scooby Gang goes to see The Blair Witch Project. Wackiness ensues.

SPOILERS: For The Blair Witch Project. I don't really spoil any of the movie itself, but if you're a purist, you might want to avoid this until after you see it.

DEDICATED: To Lynn/Lynx, for getting scared out of her mind right along with me. And no, I still haven't gone into the basement by myself.

Check out the Blair Witch website at http://www.blairwitch.com.




"You want to see *what*?"

Buffy Summers looked at Willow Rosenberg, a stunned look on her face. "Don't we see enough of that stuff on a daily basis? You want to pay money to go see more?"

"It's supposed to be really good. It won all those awards."


"What? I'm serious. We can all go. You, me, Oz. Xander. Even Cordelia."

//How nice. Everyone gets paired up, except the Slayer. Who has just been dumped by her cradle-robbing creature of the night boyfriend. NO!! No thoughts of Angel. Thoughts of Angel are bad. Bad, bad, bad.//

Then Buffy had a non-Angel thought. "What about Giles?"

"What about him?"

"We can't have an outing without him."

"He's not going to want to go."

"Doesn't matter. He'll come."

With that, Buffy went over to call her Watcher.

Predictably, he was unenthused. "You want to watch what?"

"The Blair Witch Project. It's a movie, about these three people who go to film a documentary in the woods, and then they die and stuff."

"Buffy, don't you think we see quite enough of 'death and stuff' in our everyday lives?"

"That's what I told Will. But she has the Resolve Face on."

"Oh, dear."


"Very well, I guess we can go to theatre."

"Great. We'll meet you there at 8."


Munching popcorn, Buffy looked around at the people seated near her. Willow was clearly terrified, clutching Oz's hand for dear life. And Oz...Oz even had an expression. Buffy hadn't known that Oz *could* have an expression. Xander was whimpering, curled up in Cordelia's lap. It looked like they had called a temporary cease-fire during the really scary part of the movie. Even Giles was scrunched up in his seat, looking pale. Buffy patted his hand reassuringly, and was surprised when his fingers curled around her own. Her other hand moved to cover their clasped hands, and she held on to him. If her Watcher needed comfort...she was totally there for him.

Buffy looked in front of her. There were two women in front of them, huddled together in the seats. Buffy's preternatural hearing picked up bits of their conversation.

"...glad I'm not home...be afraid to go into the basement by myself..."

"...drive home through the woods. At night. Oh god."

Buffy narrowed her eyes and sighed.

//Why am I the only one in the whole theater that is unafraid?//


After the movie ended, the Scooby Gang piled out of the theatre. Everyone, with the exception of the Slayer, was pale and trembling. The last few minutes of the movie had succeeded in scaring years off of their lives.

Willow, with her face buried in Oz' shoulder, was the first to speak. "Remind me again why I wanted to see this?"

Buffy grinned. "Uh, let's see, 'really good movie, won all those awards', yadda yadda yadda."

"Next time, no one listen to me."

Xander nodded his agreement.

Suddenly, Cordelia looked at Buffy. "You're not scared. Why are you not scared? Is it because you're Slay Gal?"

Slay Gal shrugged. "I dunno. Probably. I've seen worse."

Oz' eyes widened a bit. "I don't want to think about it. In fact, I never want to think about it again. I may never go near a forest again."

Giles looked shell shocked. Buffy took pity on him. "Oz, you take everyone else home and I'll go home with Giles, make sure nothing nasty is lurking in his basement."

Her announcement brought Giles out of his stupor. "No, no, I'll be fine. Don't be silly, it's only a film."

The rest of the Scooby Gang eyed him warily.

"I'll be fine. You all just run along."

Buffy looked at him for a moment, then shrugged. "All right, Giles. It's your call."


Later that night, a tapping noise dragged Buffy out of a sound sleep. She rolled over. Willow was perched on her windowsill.

"Uh, Buffy? I was, um, wondering, if I could maybe--"

Buffy pulled back the covers. Willow wasted no time hopping into bed with the Slayer.

"Thanks, Buffy."

"No problem. Just go to sleep."


Ten minutes later, another scratch sounded at the window. Buffy looked over.


Before Cordelia could open her mouth, Buffy once again pulled back the covers. The brunette said nothing, just slipped gratefully beneath the sheets.

The three girls fell asleep.


Half an hour later, there was yet another scratching at the window. Buffy nearly groaned, then cracked open an eye. To her amazement, Oz was sitting there, looking as scared as she had ever seen him look.

Which, for Oz, wasn't really all that scared. But still, he was in her room in the wee hours of the morning, so he must have been frightened. She patted the bed. He hopped in.

They slept.


Only to be awakened by the fourth scratch of the evening. All four teenagers looked up.

Xander smiled sheepishly at them.

Buffy sighed, and wiggled everyone closer together to make room for the final Slayerette. Xander curled up next to Oz. But not in a gay way.

The bed was queen-sized, but even so, it was getting a little cramped. Everyone shifted, found a comfy spot.

Then went to sleep.


The final crash of the evening woke them up.

Giles was sitting on the floor, after having fallen in a rather ungraceful heap through the window. He looked extremely embarrassed.

"I...well, I was just checking, to make sure everyone was all right. Wouldn't want anyone to suffer any ill effects from the movie..."

The occupants of the bed looked at each other. Then they looked back at him. Once more, Buffy pulled back the covers. Giles wasted no time getting into bed.

And then Buffy whispered, "Is everyone all right now?"

Five heads nodded.

"You won't let anything happen to us, will you Buffy?" Willow asked.

"The bad guys don't stand a chance, Will. I could take this Blair bitch, no problem."


Xander snickered. "Not just everyone gets to have the Slayer scare away the monsters under the bed."

Buffy nodded sleepily. "Damn right. You guys are special. Now can we please sleep?"

With Buffy's confidence making them feel safe, the gang fell asleep.


Only to be woken up the next morning by a loudly screaming Joyce staring at them from the doorway.

But that's a story for another time.





I *told* you it was badfic.